Пртвет мои друзья! Извини мое отсутствие... на прошлой неделе я была очень занят. Я рада написать снова! Сегодня я хочу написать о перевод.
Translation is a great exercise when learning a language. In the beginning, you translate your new vocabulary to the equivalent in your native language. Eventually, it is useful to your learning to begin translating texts, short stories, poems, songs lyrics... anything and everything you can find. It is a great way to learn new vocabulary and get exposure to and practice with grammar. It is helpful to do it both ways - translating from the language you're learning into your native language and translating from your native language into your new one.
I use this exericse several times a week while I'm studying Russian. Like I said, it is very helpful.
But I think sometimes it can be a little bit of a hinderance.
It is a great learning technique, but what about when you try to put what you've learned into practice?
When I try to speak Russian with my friends, it would take far too long to try and translate what i want to tell them from English to Russian. And it would be nearly impossible for me to translate their (sometimes) rapid speech into English. This method just won't work for conversation.
But, in my early attempts at conversation, I tried it. And I failed pretty quickly. At the time, I decided it was because I didn't have enough vocabulary to really have a conversation - but that's not true. You can have a conversation with very few words, it may be very simple and only last for a minute, but it is possible.
I failed because I put too much stress on myself- too much pressure to understand what was being said to me exactly the way it was being said. If I couldn't translate one word, the entire conversation was a mystery to me.
Now it isn't so much of a worry.
Sure, there are constantly words and phrases I don't know. But, sometimes, I can catch the words I do recognize and understand the meaning. My brain knows the idea without translating, it fills in the blanks. I surprise myself every time some Russian comes out of my mouth without any thought, no matter how small the phrase. It is a step in the right direction!
Translation is important. Without it, your brain won't make the connections between words and ideas- but it has no place in conversations. There, it only acts as a stumbling block and a cause for frustration. Leave the translation for your study time. When it come time to use what you've learned, relax and do your best!
I'll see you all next week!
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Setbacks
The first time you understand something someone says to you in a foreign language you experience an amazing feeling of elation.
At least I did. The first time I successfully managed some small talk with my friend Artem, I felt like jumping for joy! Someone crack open the champagne! It didn't matter that the conversation lasted only for 3 minutes. I'd listened, understood, and responded in Russian.
Finally, my brain had unlocked some magical door that allowed me to understand sounds that, until recently, were only foreign noises to me. It was one of the best feelings I've ever experienced. It meant all my hard work was paying off, no matter how slow my progress felt! It was a step in the right direction.
This kind of feeling is one, I've discovered, you must keep a tight grip on. You have to remember how good it feels, because you'll need to remind yourself of it. For every moment of joy you experience from understanding and communicating with someone in a foreign language, you'll feel defeat and humiliation 100 times over. It would be very easy to let this discourage you, to decide that it really is just too hard. You must remember how good the successes feel. It doesn't matter if it was only a few words or a full conversation.
Today I experienced a setback. I froze, forgot all the words I've learned in Russian (at least it felt that way) and stared blankly at a group of people I'd hoped to befriend. I quickly muttered the only word my terrified brain could remember "Пока" and that was that.
I agonized over it for a while afterwards, imagining that they must think I'm a silly American for trying to learn their language, and knowing for a fact that no one would ever want to speak to me again. I wanted to dwell on it all day. To sit around thinking "I'm so stupid, I'll never learn Russian. It is too hard, what was I thinking?" But like I've said before, learning a language requires determination, and that I have a lot of!
It took me a little while to shake off my embarrassment and to realize that everyone who learns a language has experiences like these. They'll forget how terrified I acted. And I'll speak to them again - next time it will be better.
In the meantime, I'll study and practice. It's all I can do, it's all any of us can do. With determination and the support of my friends, I'll see this through.
At least I did. The first time I successfully managed some small talk with my friend Artem, I felt like jumping for joy! Someone crack open the champagne! It didn't matter that the conversation lasted only for 3 minutes. I'd listened, understood, and responded in Russian.
Finally, my brain had unlocked some magical door that allowed me to understand sounds that, until recently, were only foreign noises to me. It was one of the best feelings I've ever experienced. It meant all my hard work was paying off, no matter how slow my progress felt! It was a step in the right direction.
This kind of feeling is one, I've discovered, you must keep a tight grip on. You have to remember how good it feels, because you'll need to remind yourself of it. For every moment of joy you experience from understanding and communicating with someone in a foreign language, you'll feel defeat and humiliation 100 times over. It would be very easy to let this discourage you, to decide that it really is just too hard. You must remember how good the successes feel. It doesn't matter if it was only a few words or a full conversation.
Today I experienced a setback. I froze, forgot all the words I've learned in Russian (at least it felt that way) and stared blankly at a group of people I'd hoped to befriend. I quickly muttered the only word my terrified brain could remember "Пока" and that was that.
I agonized over it for a while afterwards, imagining that they must think I'm a silly American for trying to learn their language, and knowing for a fact that no one would ever want to speak to me again. I wanted to dwell on it all day. To sit around thinking "I'm so stupid, I'll never learn Russian. It is too hard, what was I thinking?" But like I've said before, learning a language requires determination, and that I have a lot of!
It took me a little while to shake off my embarrassment and to realize that everyone who learns a language has experiences like these. They'll forget how terrified I acted. And I'll speak to them again - next time it will be better.
In the meantime, I'll study and practice. It's all I can do, it's all any of us can do. With determination and the support of my friends, I'll see this through.
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Overcoming Your Mind
Илья: "Слушай, а ты бегаешь каждый день?"
Джен: "Нет... может быть 4 или 5 дне на неделе. Почему?"
Илья: "Да вот думал спросить: как ты умудряешься делать это регулярно? Поделись методами борьбы с вездесущей ленью!"
And so started an interesting conversation about staying motivated. We were speaking about running, but eventually turned to language, too.
I know staying motivated is not just a problem for me and my Ilia.Our own minds seem to work against us sometimes, especially when we perceive something as too difficult. Our minds are very good at finding excuses for not doing something. Maybe we think we don't have have time, or there is another more pressing matter to attend to. There will always be a ready excuse!
As I said last time, those excuses begin to pile up until you've done nothing; you've made no progress and now you're too frustrated to continue. So, what to do? You have to have discipline, but how do you build that discipline? It doesn't just happen, no one can hand it to you wrapped in a neat bow.
The first step I shared with my friend is this: make a list. The list should have every single reason, no matter how small or silly it seems, why you want to learn a language (or whatever your goal is). Start composing it in your head, it won't be too difficult, especially if you're really passionate about whatever it is you are trying to do. Once you have some ideas, put them on paper. Write down everything you can think of! Then stop, you're done for now. Put the list somewhere where you won't forget about it.
Over the next week, or longer if you need, examine your list. Take a couple minutes every day to read it and start thinking about your reasons. Highlight the ones that are most important to you. After you've selected a few, big goals for yourself, make a new list. Put it by your bed, on your desk, tacked onto your fridge - anywhere you'll see it most often! It sounds simple, but I promise it will keep you motivated.
Of course, this list isn't magic. You won't suddenly have the urge to sit at your desk 4 hours a day, every day to study. Your brain will still work against you... But now you have ammunition against it! When you start feeling lazy, if you start thinking about something else you need to do, remember your list. Hold it, read it! This is what you're working for, and it's easily attainable - if you do the work!
I can't tell you how long it will take, but eventually you won't be so dependent on your list. Your reasons will stick with you and you'll have the discipline to stick with it.
In the beginning, I struggled with studying. I had a vague idea of why I wanted to learn Russian, but it wasn't enough to keep me very interested. I'd sit down, open my book, read one or two paragraphs and get distracted. I'd check Facebook, or my email. Or just get up and walk away to do something else. I wasn't making any progress, despite wanting to learn. So I made a list.
Jen's Reasons for Learning Russian
1. Travel (and live) in Russian speaking countries.
2. Communicate with my awesome friends in their native language.
3. Experience the culture as authentically as I can.
4. Watch movies, listen to music, and read in Russian with no problem.
5. Have no fear when speaking with a native Russian speaker.
It was still a struggle in the beginning. I'd want to do other things. But I would remind myself that if I didn't study, the goals on my list would slip further and further away. It helped me. Now I have few problems sitting down to study. And if I do start to struggle, I just remember my list.
Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time!
Over the next week, or longer if you need, examine your list. Take a couple minutes every day to read it and start thinking about your reasons. Highlight the ones that are most important to you. After you've selected a few, big goals for yourself, make a new list. Put it by your bed, on your desk, tacked onto your fridge - anywhere you'll see it most often! It sounds simple, but I promise it will keep you motivated.
Of course, this list isn't magic. You won't suddenly have the urge to sit at your desk 4 hours a day, every day to study. Your brain will still work against you... But now you have ammunition against it! When you start feeling lazy, if you start thinking about something else you need to do, remember your list. Hold it, read it! This is what you're working for, and it's easily attainable - if you do the work!
I can't tell you how long it will take, but eventually you won't be so dependent on your list. Your reasons will stick with you and you'll have the discipline to stick with it.
In the beginning, I struggled with studying. I had a vague idea of why I wanted to learn Russian, but it wasn't enough to keep me very interested. I'd sit down, open my book, read one or two paragraphs and get distracted. I'd check Facebook, or my email. Or just get up and walk away to do something else. I wasn't making any progress, despite wanting to learn. So I made a list.
Jen's Reasons for Learning Russian
1. Travel (and live) in Russian speaking countries.
2. Communicate with my awesome friends in their native language.
3. Experience the culture as authentically as I can.
4. Watch movies, listen to music, and read in Russian with no problem.
5. Have no fear when speaking with a native Russian speaker.
It was still a struggle in the beginning. I'd want to do other things. But I would remind myself that if I didn't study, the goals on my list would slip further and further away. It helped me. Now I have few problems sitting down to study. And if I do start to struggle, I just remember my list.
Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time!
Sunday, July 6, 2014
One Step Forward...
The day I took my last German final, Mr. Hammond met me in the hallway outside the classroom. He asked me what my plans were after graduations and if I would continue learning German. I answered him as honestly as I could. I had no idea what I would do after graduation. I had no clue what kind of job I wanted and no job prospects. But I told him I intended to continue learning German. I wanted to find a teacher in my city and continue to learn. I would become a better speaker, and maybe even reach the elusive goal of fluency. Mr Hammond seemed a little skeptical, but wished me luck. (He had every right to be skeptical, I got a C on that final.)
I was serious, though, and I had good intentions. After graduation, looking for a job consumed my time, and when jobs didn't present themselves, I should have thrown myself into language study. I should have, but I didn't.
"I'll do it tomorrow," I'd say.
Tomorrow turned into next week, into next month, into a few months, and, before I knew what had happened, I had lost most of my determination to learn the language. Several times I picked up my old textbook and flipped through the pages, but it was often like I was seeing the material for the first time. it was frustrating and, on top of my lack of interest, it was enough to make me give up.
There is no question about it, learning a language is hard work. There is no easy or passive way to do it. You must possess the interest, passion, and determination for it, but if you aren't willing to make the time to study, practice, and use the language, you'll never succeed. Your friends and family may think you're crazy for spending countless hours learning, but you have to do it!
In the year I've been studying Russian, I've learned this lesson well. And looking back at my other attempts to learn languages, i can see exactly where and when I went wrong. Procrastination and laziness are learning killers, and I came close to falling victim to them early into my Russian language quest, but the thought of failure (again) was enough to push me past it.
Some days it is difficult to find the time. Some days you really don't feel like opening your textbook, studying grammar, or making your brain think in another language, but it is important to do it- even if it is for a short period of time.
Some days it will feel like you're taking one step forward only to take two steps backwards the next day. You'll overcome this feeling, but it will return. Use your interest, passion, and determination to push through it.
Interest, passion, and determination are so important to learning, but without the discipline to do the work, you'll never make any progress. It takes time to develop this.
I was serious, though, and I had good intentions. After graduation, looking for a job consumed my time, and when jobs didn't present themselves, I should have thrown myself into language study. I should have, but I didn't.
"I'll do it tomorrow," I'd say.
Tomorrow turned into next week, into next month, into a few months, and, before I knew what had happened, I had lost most of my determination to learn the language. Several times I picked up my old textbook and flipped through the pages, but it was often like I was seeing the material for the first time. it was frustrating and, on top of my lack of interest, it was enough to make me give up.
There is no question about it, learning a language is hard work. There is no easy or passive way to do it. You must possess the interest, passion, and determination for it, but if you aren't willing to make the time to study, practice, and use the language, you'll never succeed. Your friends and family may think you're crazy for spending countless hours learning, but you have to do it!
In the year I've been studying Russian, I've learned this lesson well. And looking back at my other attempts to learn languages, i can see exactly where and when I went wrong. Procrastination and laziness are learning killers, and I came close to falling victim to them early into my Russian language quest, but the thought of failure (again) was enough to push me past it.
Some days it is difficult to find the time. Some days you really don't feel like opening your textbook, studying grammar, or making your brain think in another language, but it is important to do it- even if it is for a short period of time.
Some days it will feel like you're taking one step forward only to take two steps backwards the next day. You'll overcome this feeling, but it will return. Use your interest, passion, and determination to push through it.
Interest, passion, and determination are so important to learning, but without the discipline to do the work, you'll never make any progress. It takes time to develop this.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
This Isn't At All What I Was Expecting
Lucky for me, two of my good friends at university happened to sign up for the same German class I did. We visited the book store to buy our books - bright green and cheerful looking filled with comics and lots of pictures, they weren't too scary looking - and headed to class. It was great to know, once again, that I wouldn't be alone in my new language learning experience, but despite the presence of my two friends, I entered that first class a bundle of nerves. All the old feelings came rushing back in waves.
I hoped the professor would be easy to understand, that he would be nice, that he wouldn't come in and start speaking German immediately and expect us all to keep up. I hoped all of this, but I didn't want to get my hopes too high. After all, I'd tried this language thing a few times now, I'd pretty well established that learning a foreign language was well beyond my capabilities. I just needed to get a passing mark in 3 German classes so I could graduate.
But Mr. Hammond was nothing like I expected. He was easy going, quick to laugh with, and never at, his students. He encouraged us to make mistakes. He never put his students on the spot. If you didn't know an answer, that was OK- there was no lecture about needing to study more, just remember it next time! There were no endless grammar drills, no standing at the board in front of your classmates struggling to remember what to write. He understood that some of his students were more outgoing than others but he made sure his quieter students (like me) got a chance to try the language, too. And most importantly he made learning a language fun and accessible. He told us stories about his own experiences learning German, how he had struggled. He told stories about visiting Germany and saying the wrong things and the amusing situations that happened because of it. And he told us how he had never imagined he would be standing in front of a classroom teaching others anything, especially a language that was not his own native one!
The man completely changed my perception of foreign language learning.
It wasn't all perfect, of course. I still became very nervous whenever I spoke German. My speaking and grammar skills were horrible, but my reading comprehension was passable. I still struggled, but, as I was beginning to realize, this was my own fault. I didn't spend enough time studying or trying to speak to ever get a very good handle on the language. In short, I was too lazy. But I satisfied my language requirement and passed that last German course with a B.
I learned some important lessons in Mr. Hammond's classes:
1. I really am capable of learning a foreign language - all it takes is some effort.
2. If I want to improve at a language, I have to force myself outside of my comfort zone in a huge way.
3. Grammar is important, but it shouldn't be the main focus.
And
4. Learning a language is actually a lot of fun!
A good teacher can make all the difference in students' lives. Its not just true for languages, but for any subject.
Some days I think about relearning German, this time improving my skills beyond what I did in the classroom, but it isn't where my passion lies. I'll always be grateful, however, for this class and the things things I learned in it.
So, surely, with this new knowledge, soon I'd be speaking at least one other language besides English... surely...
I hoped the professor would be easy to understand, that he would be nice, that he wouldn't come in and start speaking German immediately and expect us all to keep up. I hoped all of this, but I didn't want to get my hopes too high. After all, I'd tried this language thing a few times now, I'd pretty well established that learning a foreign language was well beyond my capabilities. I just needed to get a passing mark in 3 German classes so I could graduate.
But Mr. Hammond was nothing like I expected. He was easy going, quick to laugh with, and never at, his students. He encouraged us to make mistakes. He never put his students on the spot. If you didn't know an answer, that was OK- there was no lecture about needing to study more, just remember it next time! There were no endless grammar drills, no standing at the board in front of your classmates struggling to remember what to write. He understood that some of his students were more outgoing than others but he made sure his quieter students (like me) got a chance to try the language, too. And most importantly he made learning a language fun and accessible. He told us stories about his own experiences learning German, how he had struggled. He told stories about visiting Germany and saying the wrong things and the amusing situations that happened because of it. And he told us how he had never imagined he would be standing in front of a classroom teaching others anything, especially a language that was not his own native one!
The man completely changed my perception of foreign language learning.
It wasn't all perfect, of course. I still became very nervous whenever I spoke German. My speaking and grammar skills were horrible, but my reading comprehension was passable. I still struggled, but, as I was beginning to realize, this was my own fault. I didn't spend enough time studying or trying to speak to ever get a very good handle on the language. In short, I was too lazy. But I satisfied my language requirement and passed that last German course with a B.
I learned some important lessons in Mr. Hammond's classes:
1. I really am capable of learning a foreign language - all it takes is some effort.
2. If I want to improve at a language, I have to force myself outside of my comfort zone in a huge way.
3. Grammar is important, but it shouldn't be the main focus.
And
4. Learning a language is actually a lot of fun!
A good teacher can make all the difference in students' lives. Its not just true for languages, but for any subject.
Some days I think about relearning German, this time improving my skills beyond what I did in the classroom, but it isn't where my passion lies. I'll always be grateful, however, for this class and the things things I learned in it.
So, surely, with this new knowledge, soon I'd be speaking at least one other language besides English... surely...
Sunday, June 22, 2014
False Starts
Привет мои друзья!
Thanks for coming back!
The thought of learning a foreign language is a huge, daunting, and frankly terrifying idea. At least it is to me. We spend our entire lives learning our native language, always learning new words and never truly mastering all the grammatical structures introduced to us. How in the hell can we be expected to learn a second language with its own sets of rules and millions of different words? Learning Russian may even been worse than some other languages- It doesn't help my confidence when some of my native Russian speaking friends say things like: "I don't know why you decided to learn Russian, Jen. But you're crazy for picking it... good luck!" Oh, thanks guys!
I've played around with language learning most of my life. When I was a kid, maybe 5 or 6 years old, my mom stuck me in French lessons. I don't remember the classes, the instructor, or my fellow students. I don't even remember how long I took the lessons! But I do remember one (and only one) phrase from these lessons - You can drop me in Paris and I can loudly and confidently ask someone: "Comment allez-vous?" (How are you?) and then I'll quickly pray to God they answer "Tres bien, merci, et vous?" (Very well, thank you, and you?) so I can respond "Tres bien" and walk confidently, and very quickly, away.
After my foray into French, I didn't have much exposure to foreign language again until high school. Sure, I learned the odd Spanish phrase or some numbers here and there, but I didn't have any formal training. High school was when I got my first real taste of learning a foreign language. And what a taste it was...
I'm sure most people have horror stories from high school language programs. Mine, I am confident, is not much different. It is sad to me that many teachers can't make language learning fun and engaging for their students. Endless grammar drills and what seems like countless hours of standing at a blackboard conjugating tends to sour a student's taste for learning. It sure did mine!
Maybe my first mistake was signing up for Latin. Choosing a dead language over a live, spoken one may not have been the best decision, but I was 14! Latin sounded exotic to my young, nerdy brain. I could go into a medical profession with the knowledge of Latin! (Even though I had not intentions of doing so.) I could say pretentious things at fancy parties! (Even though I never went to fancy parties.) And best of all, it wasn't spoken so I could sit quietly in class, confident I would only ever be asked to show my language skills on paper. (I've always been quiet and much more confident expressing myself in written form. I'm glad to say learning Russian is helping me overcome this, but more on that later!)
Besides, Spanish was "boring" and I already knew all the French I'd ever need to know!
I hated Latin. I've blocked almost everything I learned in that class from my memory. I would sit in the back of the room, cowering behind my book, hoping the teacher wouldn't see me. Of course, that just made me more obvious. I wanted to die every time she called me to the front of the room to conjugate something on the blackboard. I could never remember what to do, what order to write the endings in , or even what the word meant. I'd stand there shaking, playing with the chalk while other classmates came and went, easily completing the task while I stood there like an idiot. They would scribble their answers nosily on the board and return to their seats while I stood there silently, drowning in my own embarrassment. How was it these other kids could understand this better than me? Am I really that stupid? I'd listen to the teacher, my eyes glued to the floor, while she scolded me for not knowing the answer, before returning on wobbly legs to my seat. It was horrible.
And I decided all language learning must be like this. One set of embarrassments and humiliating experiences after another. It obviously wasn't for me. I wasn't smart enough. Or maybe I didn't have they mythical "language learning gene." Maybe some people could handle the stress and anxiety foreign languages induced, but not this girl! I struggled through my Latin classes until I, just barely, satisfied the foreign language requirement and gladly ran away with a C, very little knowledge, and a shattered idea of what learning another language was like.
All that fear and anxiety came crashing back not very long after high school graduation when I attended freshman orientation at the University of Tennessee at Martin. When I was told I'd have to take a foreign language as part of my chosen course of study, I wanted to bolt! But there was no way around it. Even if I could have taken a Latin test to get out of studying another language, I wouldn't have known enough to get a passing grade. I was stuck. I signed up for French knowing that a couple of my friends were taking it, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Besides, I'd be way ahead of the rest of the class with my one French phrase!
It wasn't a horrible experience... in fact, it could have been a great one! But I let my past experiences and old fears cloud any good ones the class and professor offered me. The professor was nice, but as a native speaker, she intimidated the hell out of me! I was always afraid I would mispronounce something, or say the wrong word, and maybe she would laugh at me. The moment she started teaching us grammar, my brain shut down. It was around this time I started having some personal problems within my family, too, and this only complicated matters. She was a great professor, sitting down with me around midterm and offering to help me out in any way she could. She told me she would give me extra help or find me tutor, but I had already decided I couldn't learn French, so it didn't matter. I don't remember what my final grade was in the class, but I don't think it was great. Needless to say, I didn't sign up for another semester.
After a couple years at the University, I realized I still needed to satisfy that pesky language requirement. So, with a pounding heart, sweaty palms, and a sickly nervous feeling in my stomach I signed up for German 110, Introduction to German.
Thanks for coming back!
The thought of learning a foreign language is a huge, daunting, and frankly terrifying idea. At least it is to me. We spend our entire lives learning our native language, always learning new words and never truly mastering all the grammatical structures introduced to us. How in the hell can we be expected to learn a second language with its own sets of rules and millions of different words? Learning Russian may even been worse than some other languages- It doesn't help my confidence when some of my native Russian speaking friends say things like: "I don't know why you decided to learn Russian, Jen. But you're crazy for picking it... good luck!" Oh, thanks guys!
I've played around with language learning most of my life. When I was a kid, maybe 5 or 6 years old, my mom stuck me in French lessons. I don't remember the classes, the instructor, or my fellow students. I don't even remember how long I took the lessons! But I do remember one (and only one) phrase from these lessons - You can drop me in Paris and I can loudly and confidently ask someone: "Comment allez-vous?" (How are you?) and then I'll quickly pray to God they answer "Tres bien, merci, et vous?" (Very well, thank you, and you?) so I can respond "Tres bien" and walk confidently, and very quickly, away.
After my foray into French, I didn't have much exposure to foreign language again until high school. Sure, I learned the odd Spanish phrase or some numbers here and there, but I didn't have any formal training. High school was when I got my first real taste of learning a foreign language. And what a taste it was...
I'm sure most people have horror stories from high school language programs. Mine, I am confident, is not much different. It is sad to me that many teachers can't make language learning fun and engaging for their students. Endless grammar drills and what seems like countless hours of standing at a blackboard conjugating tends to sour a student's taste for learning. It sure did mine!
Maybe my first mistake was signing up for Latin. Choosing a dead language over a live, spoken one may not have been the best decision, but I was 14! Latin sounded exotic to my young, nerdy brain. I could go into a medical profession with the knowledge of Latin! (Even though I had not intentions of doing so.) I could say pretentious things at fancy parties! (Even though I never went to fancy parties.) And best of all, it wasn't spoken so I could sit quietly in class, confident I would only ever be asked to show my language skills on paper. (I've always been quiet and much more confident expressing myself in written form. I'm glad to say learning Russian is helping me overcome this, but more on that later!)
Besides, Spanish was "boring" and I already knew all the French I'd ever need to know!
I hated Latin. I've blocked almost everything I learned in that class from my memory. I would sit in the back of the room, cowering behind my book, hoping the teacher wouldn't see me. Of course, that just made me more obvious. I wanted to die every time she called me to the front of the room to conjugate something on the blackboard. I could never remember what to do, what order to write the endings in , or even what the word meant. I'd stand there shaking, playing with the chalk while other classmates came and went, easily completing the task while I stood there like an idiot. They would scribble their answers nosily on the board and return to their seats while I stood there silently, drowning in my own embarrassment. How was it these other kids could understand this better than me? Am I really that stupid? I'd listen to the teacher, my eyes glued to the floor, while she scolded me for not knowing the answer, before returning on wobbly legs to my seat. It was horrible.
And I decided all language learning must be like this. One set of embarrassments and humiliating experiences after another. It obviously wasn't for me. I wasn't smart enough. Or maybe I didn't have they mythical "language learning gene." Maybe some people could handle the stress and anxiety foreign languages induced, but not this girl! I struggled through my Latin classes until I, just barely, satisfied the foreign language requirement and gladly ran away with a C, very little knowledge, and a shattered idea of what learning another language was like.
All that fear and anxiety came crashing back not very long after high school graduation when I attended freshman orientation at the University of Tennessee at Martin. When I was told I'd have to take a foreign language as part of my chosen course of study, I wanted to bolt! But there was no way around it. Even if I could have taken a Latin test to get out of studying another language, I wouldn't have known enough to get a passing grade. I was stuck. I signed up for French knowing that a couple of my friends were taking it, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Besides, I'd be way ahead of the rest of the class with my one French phrase!
It wasn't a horrible experience... in fact, it could have been a great one! But I let my past experiences and old fears cloud any good ones the class and professor offered me. The professor was nice, but as a native speaker, she intimidated the hell out of me! I was always afraid I would mispronounce something, or say the wrong word, and maybe she would laugh at me. The moment she started teaching us grammar, my brain shut down. It was around this time I started having some personal problems within my family, too, and this only complicated matters. She was a great professor, sitting down with me around midterm and offering to help me out in any way she could. She told me she would give me extra help or find me tutor, but I had already decided I couldn't learn French, so it didn't matter. I don't remember what my final grade was in the class, but I don't think it was great. Needless to say, I didn't sign up for another semester.
After a couple years at the University, I realized I still needed to satisfy that pesky language requirement. So, with a pounding heart, sweaty palms, and a sickly nervous feeling in my stomach I signed up for German 110, Introduction to German.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Almost a Year...
It was almost a year ago that I decided there was something I wanted to change in my life. I had previously taken the huge step to becoming healthier by beginning to jog, and was feeling better about myself physically as each day passed. I had just been offered a new job after being unemployed for longer than I care to remember, so my finances were beginning to look up. I've always had great friends and family I can rely on for emotional support, and for that I'm extremely grateful.
But there was still something missing. Something that had been in the back of my mind for as long as I can remember. Something I had the desire to do, even he need to do, but something I'd never had the courage to try doing.
I wanted to speak Russian.
I wish I could end this post by saying: I wanted to speak Russian - so I did! Unfortunately, as anyone who has ever studied at foreign language knows, its never that simple. There are ups and downs. Sometimes it seems like there are more setbacks than successes. Some days I feel like a genius, and other days I wonder how I'm smart enough to know how to breathe correctly.
The first important lesson I learned, however, is this: If you have the will, desire, and passion, you'll succeed. I know it sounds like a bad cliche, but its the truth. And it applies to everything in life, not just language learning.
I hope by sharing my experiences in learning, from the past, present, and future, I'll inspire anyone who reads this to take a chance and go for whatever their passion is.
Please come back soon to read my next post! I look forward to seeing you!
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